'worth a buy' says emo girl.

Once upon a time i was a little emo college student... if you don't believe me, just look at this "self-portrait" i took and developed for one of my photo classes junior year.

see... told ya.

anyhow, during those emo college years i had a friend whose boyfriend was the drummer for an amazing band named imaginary baseball league. no really- they were super good and not just in that, "dude, my friend is in this awesome band that you should totally check out" kinda way.

i clearly remember being all torn up in love with this dude who cheated on me with some girl he met in line to buy a radiohead album (ugh). i spent an entire weekend in my college apartment bedroom listening to this song on repeat wondering WHY... WHHYYYYYY, crying, drawing broken hearts on myself. ha.

fast forward ten-ish years... the singer from that band, Aaron Robinson just released a new EP that I think you should all go listen to and purchase (you name the price through the site). Man... i really love it, and his voice takes me back to the time in my life when my biggest worry was what kite to buy to fly around on campus on those lazy summer days. oh, and to make sure i had enough money left over after said kite purchase to buy a couple of PBR tall boys.

those were the days.

(favorite IBL songs... heiress , a lot to say, posing for stills, from Arkansas with love)

worth a read...

Here are a couple of interesting articles worthy of a read that I wanted to share.

The first, a Huffington Post article from Sunday called Why You're Not Married. Man... this article is brutal, but there is a good deal of uncomfortable truth to it. Obviously, it can't apply to every unmarried woman, but I do have never-married friends creeping on 35 to 40 who want desperately to get married, yet find endless flaws in each decent man they date. Like her points or not, it will at least provide some laughs.

Second, this GQ article about the current life of Billy Ray Cyrus. A sad yet poignant look into Billy Ray's life as a father and a soon-to-be divorcée dealing with what obviously is a good deal of depression and confusion. He's candid about his regrets and at the end you just want to drive over to Franklin, TN and give him a big old hug.

weddings one and two of 2011

Thought I'd start posting about each wedding I work on in 2011, just for the sake of showing what takes up many of my weekends. The photographers photos always show the work much better than my lil iPhone, so today I'll just show a couple.

Wedding 1 - Grant Hyatt Denver - colors or theme... all over the place. I'm calling it "colors galore".

I'm not dissing this bride. In fact, I was one of these brides and would've been if we hadn't eloped. This is the bride that has looked at too many wedding magazines and blogs and never quite decides what direction she wants to go in. First- vintage circus. Then- tea party. Next- alice in wonderland. Last- rainbow party. The result? All of the above. The signage was highly circus influenced, the centerpieces were teacup arrangements, the candy bar was a bit of it all, and the bouquets were rainbow. In the end- it all looked really super cute, but disjointed.

Wedding 2- Boettcher Mansion - Golden, CO - colors or theme- winter classic- black, whites, red.

This was a small floral order and very pretty. Bouquets were white hydrangea covered in white anemones. Beautiful! Brides flowers were classic red roses with deep red ti-leave loops. Centerpieces were super simple- white ikea vases with red winter berries (affordable and in season!). I only took one photo, but I'll post more when the photographer shares.

contentment.

its a peaceful snowy sunday here. I'm sitting on the floor by my record player, listening to one of my very favorite albums on vinyl. jeremy is asleep on the couch behind me, penny asleep in his arm nook. his hand is resting on my shoulder and you couldn't pay me anything to move it.

I hope you all are having the type of Sunday that you want.

I couldn't have dreamed up a better Sunday for myself.

farm dreaming on such a winters day.

Our real estate agent friend always keeps a look out for houses that fit our price-range and might be an amazing deal. The main problem is that Jeremy and I want a farm, and you just don't really get that in Colorado for $200 to $300K.

She just sent us a new listing she thought we might like. I think Jeremy pretty much nailed our thoughts.

Sorry, Janet. :(

best of.

I co-designed for around 12 weddings this year with Cori. 90% of them were a total delight but there are were a few brides that were hard pressed to stay true to their own "bridal vision". By "bridal vision" I mean PINKS. A LOT OF PINKS. BABY NURSERY, 1980's, MARY KAY LADY PINK. (although there was this ONE wedding that chose pinks and even though the look wasn't my thing, it was absolutely beautiful and classic)

It never ceases to amaze me when a bride has a $2K + budget and could have her pick of wild flowers, berries, seasonals, fruits, beautiful flowers- and then chooses pink expensive roses. But... c'est la vie.

I just wanted to share my absolute very favorite of the year in regards to overall style, flowers, and choices in vendors. I'm not going to blab on about her selections, because these photos by Tyler Jones tell it better than I can describe.

Working in the wedding industry is funny. Sometimes I wonder if it drove me to eloping. About 30-40% of the weddings I work on I walk away feeling uneasy about the impending marriage. But this couple left me with a different feeling entirely. The best sign- all the laughter and fun they were having. And being able to just go-with-the-flow despite the insane wind that forced them to move to an indoor reception last-minute, which is a real heart-breaker for a couple that chose an amazing outdoor venue.

Oh yeah- I can't let the moment pass without mentioning that Jeremy Crantek himself put together that amazing dessert bar with the floating letters. Props to my man who is learning the trade quite well.

Why it was easy to say 'I do'

Writing our own vows was immensely important to us. We decided fairly early on that we'd exchange the traditional vows and add our own as well. When the time came (and i mean at the very minute before our ceremony) we knew that we didn't want to say them during the civil portion because they were so special and we didn't want to feel rushed. So after we were technically married, we went to another location in City Hall and exchanged vows. I'm SO GLAD we did this. We had our moment together alone and could laugh and cry it out without other people watching. It was extremely intimate and the most special moment of the day.

Because I'm feeling ridiculously lovey right now, and because I haven't spent near enough time on this blog sharing what an amazing human being my new husband is, I wanted to share his wedding vows. Here tis:

"The first time I met you was at the airport in Nashville with you in your signature dress and boots.

Our first date was in New Orleans laughing over a dune buggy parade and a dinner in the French Quarter.

The first time I felt love for you was behind a small cabin in Estes Park by the river, bundled in blankets, and talking about what we wanted in life.

Each of these early events kindled a love and respect for you that grew into the unconditional love that I have for you today.

Now that you are sharing a life with me in Colorado, there are so many things about you that I love and cannot live without: your singing and dancing, the way you talk with your hands, your huge curly hair in the morning, your green eyes, your beautiful neckline, your 100 different types of laughter, your compassion towards animals, your love of music, your passion for floral design and your tireless ability to always help someone, whether they are a friend in need, a family member who needs to lean on you, or even a stranger who is less fortunate in their life.

I know you are the best partner for me in life because you are always pushing me to have better relationships with my family and friends because I need those relationships for my own happiness. You want me to find my proper lot in life. It doesn't matter to you what I do in life just as long as it brings me happiness.

Not only are you the best partner for me but, one day, I know you will be the best mother to our children. You will be playful and patient with them and will teach them all of the things we care about in life. By you being such a great mother I will succeed in being a great father.

I often imagine a future with you filled with someplace to truly call home, a beautiful child or two, a farm dog, some chickens in a coop, a bed and breakfast that we run better than anyone else can, a few goats and an alpaca named Tom Brokaw.

Here are my promises to you:

I promise to always encourage you in any endeavor you take. I'm by your side for the risk and the reward.

I promise to always be completely honest with you, no matter how hard that truth may be to tell.

I promise to always be on the same team as you. On this day you are my priority in life above all else.

I promise to always give you the respect and trust you deserve. You are my equal and I will treat you that way.

I promise to always try to keep a smile on your face. Laughter and joy are so important to us. I want it to continue on into the years of our life together.

May our love be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever.

And may God bless us all of our days."

(Me losing my shit into my bouquet after Jeremy finished his vows to me. )

Cheese alert: I have no idea how I deserve this person in my life, but here he is here, day after day, and I am grateful.

basically snow white.

Thought I'd give my bitch ass neighbors* one more reason to hate me and I started feeding the squirrel family that lives outside our condo. Whenever we have apples or vegetables that are a little too ripe, I cut them up, toss them over the fence and BAM! Hours of entertainment for the kitties.






I normally can't see the squirells feasting from our bedroom window, but this morning this little guy hopped on down and gave me a little show. He ate his entire apple with a smile... I'd like to think it's his way of saying thank you.






I can't wait to move out to the foothills where the wildlife is bigger than a shoebox.

*seriously, i've found denver folks to be beyond nice, especially in our diverse neighborhood, but our immediate neighbors = awful!

cat people.

I'm trying to get into Christmas... we still need a tree, and Denver needs snow (not ONE this year!), and maybe some present wrapping. Is everyone else feeling it this year?

Do I need more cats? Or more cat ornaments? I'm kidding. Although I did buy two of these for our cats for Christmas.

a new week.

I think I'm done complaining for awhile. I did some therapeutic baking and reality tv watching over the weekend and I'm feeling much better now. thanks for listening.

Just a few other quick unrelated thoughts:

1) How awkward is too awkward for jokey Christmas cards? I think Jeremy and I might have crossed the line this year.

2) Didn't Thanksgiving break feel like FOREVER?

3) This week will be the week I watch Star Wars for the first time. Jeremy says I can just skip over all the newer ones, but aren't they important?

4) My friend Dan (who hosted us on Thanksgiving) made a big cloth napkin turkey as the centerpiece. Isn't that awesome? He's not even gay!

5) Today Cori and I have a photo session for our new flower venture. Stay tuned for big fun news about what it is!

6) Denver hasn't had one snow yet this year. There was a dusting on the ground this morning, but that's it! I'm ready for some sledding!!!

7) Anyone else grandma enough to watch 60 Minutes? If not- this segment about the new Spiderman Broadway play almost made me go book some tickets to New York last night. Although, looks like opening night wasn't so hot.

on a lighter note...

ups and downs

ups!

i've now officially lived in denver for two years. not sure where the time went yet also very aware of where the time went. does that make sense? it feels like the time has passed so quickly, yet this has been a busy transitional two years- a mid-country move, a move-in, a move-out, a move in together, new friendships, some travels, a new marriage, good times like these. So yes, busy, but good which i guess is why it feels like yesterday.

also a huge up, a month ago today i married jeremy. last night i was pretty down so he ran all of our errands and even picked up a goat cheese and basil pizza (despite the fact he doesn't eat dairy, and misses pizza so much). Also- surprised me with a US Weekly so I could read all about Kate and William cause good god I love a royal wedding! so, jeremy, thank you for saying "i do".

downs!

Pretty much just one down, but it's a big one. my dad is back in the hospital. I haven't been reporting on him lately because he's been doing so great. He's lost tons of weight just due to his diet change and in return he's been feeling great and his blood count has been at a healthy level. But two weeks ago he started crashing and being grumpy as hell. We all picked up on something not being right, but he's a pretty stubborn old dad and doesn't like to show that he's weak or not feeling great. My mom finally forced him to go to the doctor yesterday. Within an hour they admitted him to the Cardiac floor. I don't know all the details yet, but I know that he is very sick and at this point, his heart is now very weak in addition to his kidneys.

I just don't know how to feel about all of this. I'm sad. I'm guilty. I'm pissed. I'm lonely. I'm selfish.

I think when dad started feeling better, I was able to push the reality of his condition out of my mind. In a selfish way, I was happy to be able to focus on me- our vacations, our wedding, our home. Now, all I can do is think about how Jeremy and I are going to make it to all the holidays in TN this year, cause it might be the last. It's all overwhelming. I don't want to have to prepare myself to lose a parent at age 30. It's not fair.

Yesterday my mom told me that the doctor said that his disease didn't have much to do with his diet or lifestyle for the past 50 years. I was irate. Yes- maybe he didn't contract the disease b/c he's overweight and terribly unhealthy, but I damn well know that had he been a healthier man, fighting this would've been easier and it would've prolonged his life at least by some amount. I also know that kidney disease sure isn't made better by consuming sweet tea and cokes non-stop for FIFTY YEARS. Dad knew this. That damn doctor knew this. He just didn't want to make dad feel bad.

I don't know why it all made me so angry. Maybe I just need something to be mad at, and yesterday, that was dad. Mad that he didn't love us more to exercise, stop with the fried foods, take a vitamin, get off the couch, drink some water. I feel guilty for saying all these things. I'm aware that this isn't rational- I know it's not about loving us- he loves the hell out of all of us. But I hurt because I want him here with us so badly for as long as possible. And I'm hurt because it isn't going to happen. And I'm hurt that his choices have contributed to my pain, to our pain, to his pain.

I sound like a bitch. But man... this shit is complex and hard to explain.

Maybe I just need to be mad at Captain D's.

Yesss-- that's it.

So let me revise this blog:

ups!

(same as above)

downs!

DAMN YOU CAPTAIN D'S with your delicious battered and fried fish and hushpuppies that my sweet father loves so much! Grrrrrrr!

the puuurrrfect way to end a week.

the hipster in me screams

Are these really the candidates for Favorite Male Artist in the Peoples Choice Awards?

Is this why i feel disconnected to America?

I'm a snob.

boom!

I love that Jeremy photobombs.

The chick taking the photo was sooooo not into Jeremy jumping into this photo OR the fake moustaches we drew on ourselves.

Jonathan and Brett being silly

In this photo: Jonathan and Brett

Added 2 hours ago