a more reasonable focus.

I read this in a blog last week and it couldn't have come at a better time...

"Now that I feel like I have more balance in my life, I'm learning how to be more present. I am one of those people that is always looking forward to the next step, always saying "Won't life be great when..." That is so damaging! My dad once told me that the secret to happiness in life is to be conscious of what is uniquely great about your current situation and put your focus there."

Oh man... amen, sister, preach it! I, too, often tell myself... "won't life be great when..."

When we ... buy a house, launch our business, have no debt, lose 12 pounds, take the trip to Bali.

I guess I can start with trying to take the bloggers advice... So what is great about our current situation? I can think of some things:

- Living in Colorado: I think I've somehow lost the elation I felt when I moved to Denver. What was once exciting is now just our normal life, and I've neglected to appreciate the positives of what living in Denver offers. I'm not sure how or when this happened, but it seems like I'm at this place that I think every city is better than this one. SO not true. We live in a ridiculously ideal neighborhood that allows us to be a one car family and walk to neighborhood eateries, bars, shops, post-office, grocery and whatnot. Jeremy can take the light-rail to work every day, allowing him to read and listen to music and not be in traffic, and allowing me to have my husband around more. We have about every type of landscape available to us and within a 4 hour drive (besides large bodies of water, which is why every trip we take we HAVE to get to water!). The air is fresh and people are nice. All good things!

-Paying off debt: Considering the unemployment rate and the economic situation, paying off debt is a luxury we have only because we have decent jobs that we've managed to hold onto for over 6 years, plus our rent is low. But paying off debt is so painful. It feels like you're sending a big check away to nothing. Has anyone else been through this? I know it's going to something... but to things and experiences that have already passed. It's overwhelming to me that we have at least 21 months to go until no car payment, no student loans... nothing, but still... that seems so far away!

Since we started Dave Ramsey's plan, we've been able to put almost $1800 a month into our debt. That's such a big amount, but one we've gotten so use to paying that I can't even imagine what it will feel like for that to be open money. For now- all i can think of is what a cute house we could afford with all that dough. But where does my focus need to be? On being full of gratitude that we are able to pay off debt and still afford a cute dress and a date night here and there... what a luxury! (side note: we do not share the same politics as dave ramsey, but i can still listen to that mans podcast every single day and not get sick of him. love me some D.R! He called someone a "butthole" a few months ago. Who calls someone a "butthole" past 6th grade? That's why he's awesome. Plus- the plan is simple, but good, if you need to get control of your money)

Vacations, anywhere: Because I've been able to do a fair share of traveling, I easily lose sight of what a vacation really is. A vacation is trip anywhere fun that isn't home (30 minutes or 30 hours away). We take a good amount of weekend trips and yet I am still whiny as hell about not getting to travel internationally enough. What a white whine!

Last night we had a nice big talk about our honeymoon/1 year anniversary extravaganza trip- what we want to spend vs. what is reasonable. Because we're trying so hard to get the debt off our shoulders, any extra cash we spend on something that isn't essential has to go to debate. For one of the first times EVER, I was the one that voted to not go on a crazy expensive trip. Jeremy said "Oh- I'm so proud! My Jewishness has rubbed off on you!"

Now we'll have to get creative with ways to celebrate our 1 year anniversary and the honeymoon we never took. We might still go somewhere, but not to Bali and Japan... not right now, at least. And ultimately, if we're together having fun, can't anywhere be magical? (Except Disney World... don't listen to the lies! It's not magical!)

So yeah... we don't own a home. And because of that I can't buy all the wallpaper and vintage items and paint my kitchen hot pink. We can't travel like some of our friends do and our passports will stay moderately empty for now. And we feel broke... and will continue to feel broke for the next two years.

But life is so good for us everyday. Good food on the table, faithful friends always on the other end of the phone or in person, a lovely (although small) place to live and a loving partner to share it all with. that is what is great about our current situation and i'm working to put my focus right there, where it belongs.

happy half anniversary, jeremy.

Remember those two crazy kids in this picture?

That ran off to San Francisco 6 months ago today, picked up some flowers, then a cake and went to City Hall and got married?

I love those two.

They make good decisions.

I will never regret a single day or experience that brought me to 11:23 a.m. (look how happy!) on October 18th, 2010.

Cheers to the best days of our lives.

disclaimer: we're newlyweds. we're allowed to be this cheesy for the first year.

worth a read...

Here are a couple of interesting articles worthy of a read that I wanted to share.

The first, a Huffington Post article from Sunday called Why You're Not Married. Man... this article is brutal, but there is a good deal of uncomfortable truth to it. Obviously, it can't apply to every unmarried woman, but I do have never-married friends creeping on 35 to 40 who want desperately to get married, yet find endless flaws in each decent man they date. Like her points or not, it will at least provide some laughs.

Second, this GQ article about the current life of Billy Ray Cyrus. A sad yet poignant look into Billy Ray's life as a father and a soon-to-be divorcée dealing with what obviously is a good deal of depression and confusion. He's candid about his regrets and at the end you just want to drive over to Franklin, TN and give him a big old hug.

home sweet rental.

I miss owning a home. Well, I guess it's not so much the ownership as the making a house my own. I loved my house in Nashville. It had it's 1920's issues, but I loved it.

A big yard, a kitchen that was small but remodeled in a way I could easily bake in, a front porch for sunday paper reading.







Renting blows. I can't do anything significant without asking our landlord and there is a constant sense of "this isn't permanent".

To be fair, renting has served it's purpose since moving to Denver. I wasn't in a place to commit or sink money into something on my own. But now that life is moving along, I have house fever again. I want to make my own home. I want to do it with Jeremy. And this is where I become obsessed and impatient.

Thought I'd do a little search in my dream Colorado mountain town of Evergreen, and this popped up.





(built-in china cabinet, wha wha whaaaat?)




WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?

An affordable Mid-Century home in the WOODS where I can have my goats and chickens? Seriously?

With a google street view like this ?


View Larger Map







o.k. moving on.

Marry Him.

A few weeks ago I was getting my hair did, sitting in the chair, eavesdropping on the conversation happening between the stylist and the girl next to me. The girl in the chair was about 35, attractive but not a 10 (more like a 6), sounded moderately stupid, but not full blown idiot. Here is a snip-it of their conversation:

the 6: so i'm dating this great new guy!

stylist: OH! tell me more!!!

the six: well he's incredibly nice, handsome, has a great job. he doesn't play any games. he calls me back when he's supposed to and asks me out for another date while on the current one.

stylist: he sounds perfect! I'm so happy for you!

the six: well... there's this thing.

stylist: oh no, girl. what? alcohol issues? dating other girls? WHAT?

the six: he's about 2 inches shorter than me. maybe not a full two inches, definitely i can notice it. i know i shouldn't care, but it really bugs me.

stylist: so you don't think you can get past it? i mean, is he a keeper? the marrying type?

the six: yes. he is. BUT i just never imagined marrying a guy shorter than me. not sure if i can go there. shallow, i know, but it's a bit of a deal-breaker.

At this point, I almost leaned over and pulled a Miranda. You guys know what I'm talking about, right? To refresh your memory....

Except I would've leaned over and said: "MARRY HIM. Are you seriously saying that you're going to dismiss Mr. Perfect for TWO INCHES?"

But I guess I shouldn't be too hard on The 6. Before I was went through that awful break-up, I was the same way. I chose the wrong guy and I realized that the looks, the height, the money, the rock band (collective ughhhh), the life-of-the-party personality...

It means nothing if you don't have the patience, the care, the friendship, the honesty, the holding your hand at your worst moments, the ability to work through the issues, and the putting you as #1 on their team- above anyone else in their life. And when you find that, you care less about the curly hair and blue eyes, the two inch height difference, the whatever it is that just never seems to make it "perfect".

But I've found my realistic version of perfect...
and I'm going to marry him in October.

my first of three beautiful bands.