busy.

i'm thinking way too much right now about all of these things.

looking forward to a time where all of this crosses my mind as just good memories.

home sweet rental.

I miss owning a home. Well, I guess it's not so much the ownership as the making a house my own. I loved my house in Nashville. It had it's 1920's issues, but I loved it.

A big yard, a kitchen that was small but remodeled in a way I could easily bake in, a front porch for sunday paper reading.







Renting blows. I can't do anything significant without asking our landlord and there is a constant sense of "this isn't permanent".

To be fair, renting has served it's purpose since moving to Denver. I wasn't in a place to commit or sink money into something on my own. But now that life is moving along, I have house fever again. I want to make my own home. I want to do it with Jeremy. And this is where I become obsessed and impatient.

Thought I'd do a little search in my dream Colorado mountain town of Evergreen, and this popped up.





(built-in china cabinet, wha wha whaaaat?)




WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?

An affordable Mid-Century home in the WOODS where I can have my goats and chickens? Seriously?

With a google street view like this ?


View Larger Map







o.k. moving on.

missing a chromosome.

am i the only girl in the world that doesn't enjoy wedding dress shopping?

1. why are they all strapless?

2. why do they all take 3 months to get in?

3. why don't more bridal shops serve alcohol?

4. is it really all that inappropriate to wear a green or blue dress?

the dress is the last item stressing me out. after this, no more whining! promise!

rant.

Wedding blogs are pissing me off.

I understand the whole "DIY" concept to save money and make things personal. I love saving money! And making things personal!

But all this DIY CRAZE is killing me and the more they try to top each other, the more out-of-hand it all gets. I don't really see how they could be saving money. Craft materials cost too! It's like all these brides are trying to over diy the next bride, just to top the diy'yness of that one blog, just to totally trump the most diy wedding of them all.

If I see another hand sewn fabric boutonnière or "just married" pendant banner, i'm going to lose my shit.

Marry Him.

A few weeks ago I was getting my hair did, sitting in the chair, eavesdropping on the conversation happening between the stylist and the girl next to me. The girl in the chair was about 35, attractive but not a 10 (more like a 6), sounded moderately stupid, but not full blown idiot. Here is a snip-it of their conversation:

the 6: so i'm dating this great new guy!

stylist: OH! tell me more!!!

the six: well he's incredibly nice, handsome, has a great job. he doesn't play any games. he calls me back when he's supposed to and asks me out for another date while on the current one.

stylist: he sounds perfect! I'm so happy for you!

the six: well... there's this thing.

stylist: oh no, girl. what? alcohol issues? dating other girls? WHAT?

the six: he's about 2 inches shorter than me. maybe not a full two inches, definitely i can notice it. i know i shouldn't care, but it really bugs me.

stylist: so you don't think you can get past it? i mean, is he a keeper? the marrying type?

the six: yes. he is. BUT i just never imagined marrying a guy shorter than me. not sure if i can go there. shallow, i know, but it's a bit of a deal-breaker.

At this point, I almost leaned over and pulled a Miranda. You guys know what I'm talking about, right? To refresh your memory....

Except I would've leaned over and said: "MARRY HIM. Are you seriously saying that you're going to dismiss Mr. Perfect for TWO INCHES?"

But I guess I shouldn't be too hard on The 6. Before I was went through that awful break-up, I was the same way. I chose the wrong guy and I realized that the looks, the height, the money, the rock band (collective ughhhh), the life-of-the-party personality...

It means nothing if you don't have the patience, the care, the friendship, the honesty, the holding your hand at your worst moments, the ability to work through the issues, and the putting you as #1 on their team- above anyone else in their life. And when you find that, you care less about the curly hair and blue eyes, the two inch height difference, the whatever it is that just never seems to make it "perfect".

But I've found my realistic version of perfect...
and I'm going to marry him in October.

my first of three beautiful bands.

weekend.

Friday I cut out of work a couple of hours early to spend a ridiculously fun afternoon at Water World - the six flags of water parks here in Denver. Despite the fact that i LOVE amusement parks, including water parks, I haven't been too into the idea of tromping around anywhere in an ill-fitting tankini amongst a sea of teen girls in tiny bikinis. But my love for a waterslide trumped that and off we went. Afterwards, Dan, Alison, Jeremy and I stopped at some hole-in-the-wall mexican place that didn't serve booze (BOO!) and then home for the night.

Saturday morning Jeremy and I went to pick out a couple of large purchases. $900 later, we are the new owners of a lovely Livestrong 9.9 Treadmill. Originally the plan was to find the best treadmill $500 could buy on craigslist, but the more we researched the more we leaned towards a new machine. The rationalization of spending this much comes from the fact that our gym memberships total $90 a month and when we go I walk and Jeremy runs, so why not just buy something for home. I'm BEYOND excited about it and think it's going to get tons of use. Hopefully getting me prepared for jean shopping this fall and Jeremy ready for his birthday marathon in October.

Saturday afternoon spent with Alison checking out some of her matches from eHarmony which was a total blast. Man, some dudes out there are such douches! Luckily, Alison is awesome and so some good guys see that too. (Alison- Team Pat!)

Saturday night watched some fireworks with JC, Alison, Matt, Dan and Bryan in the Glendale Whole Foods parking lot. Lots of fun made better by a fight that some old drunk dude tried to start with a neighboring car. Young guy was playing his music a bit too loud and old balls yells out "You're GAY. WE GET IT." I guess old balls wasn't sure that young guy heard him, so he just kept repeating it or similar "You like shitty music. WE GET IT." Finally some dad broke it up and old balls digressed. It was awesome. Also "WE GET IT" became the sub theme of the weekend.

Sunday the same group took off bright and early for Dan's condo in Breckenridge. Holy shit- so awesome. The day was beautiful- low 70's, sunny, and the mountains were so green with just a little snow-cap left. After a day of drinking too much for high altitude, we came back and watched the season premiere of The Real World. Ha.

Yesterday- just cleaning. ALL DAY. We might be having a few summer guests so it was time to tackle the office/guest bedroom closet which has basically been out place to stuff everything we don't know what to do with. Came out last night with two bags of trash, two goodwill bags and i recycling bin. I think I'm finally learning the "if you haven't used it in a year, throw it out or give it away" mentality.

Looking forward to a 4-day work week and getting my tready on Thursday!

the fat belly diet.

Jeremy and I walked over to the library on Saturday to check out a few cookbooks for my dad. He's not doing well (to say the least) and one of his trillion doctors suggested he just start 'eating clean'. You know- fruits, veggies, healthy organic meats... REAL food. Food that will rot, that doesn't come in a box.

Considering my dad has been eating downright terrible (but tasty!) food for the past 70 years, I was specifically looking for cookbooks with recipes that were 1) easy to make with less than 10 ingredients 2) affordable 3) healthy 4) tasty. Tasty being the most important, cause if it doesn't at least taste salty or fried, dad won't eat it.

The one I ended up really liking was the Fat Belly Diet by the editors of Prevention Magazine. Now, I'm not really a fan of any diet. I think every plan has its ups and downs, but this cookbook is really good, regardless of following the plan or not. I am a fan of order, so I love the way it's laid out (see photos below). However, as far as a diet goes, this one seems to be fairly smart. Allowing you four meals a day, all around 400 calories each, and adding things that we all like to eat such as nuts, olive oil, peanut butter, chocolate.

So far I made a few of the recipes to see if they're Sloan Powell friendly, and I've been really impressed! Here are a couple of the recipes I've made that I

recommend-

Greek Grilled Chicken Breast - This was SO GOOD! Some changes I made: added 2 Tbls of Olive Oil, 1 good squeeze of a lemon, and an extra clove of garlic. I also blended the yogurt sauce instead of just stirring. This is meeting my craving for Chicago Style Gyro in Inglewood, but not resolving it. I miss my old neighborhood sometimes. :(

Korean Beef in Lettuce Leaves - Also so good! A little on the spicy side for me, but only because I listened to a review that said to add a heaping tablespoon of Chili sauce. If you like a medium to hot dish, add it. If not, stay away. Or, just add to taste. I added a can of sliced water chestnuts (and sliced them even more), used a mango chutney instead of orange marmalade because I couldn't find a jar that didn't have high fructose corn syrup, but then again I was at Albertsons, not Whole Foods.

I would recommend checking this cookbook out at the library and copying a few recipes for your collection. Lots of good items. Speaking of- did everyone but me realize that libraries let you check out just about everything? Cookbooks, movies, new books, old books, magazines - I'm so ashamed for my lack of knowledge about this!

I love that it's easy to read and designed well (geeeek) - Title of the recipe, brief description, ingredient list, directions and then to the far right, all the nutritional information. At the bottom, it allows you to "add" items to make it a complete meal and a reference to another recipe in the book.

Here's the "make it a meal" section:

saturation point

I remember this same feeling when the Tsunami hit, as Katrina rolled out, after the Haiti earthquake, and now, my beloved Tennessee. I hate to say it's more substantial to me, but you know, it's my home.

Sitting on my couch with Penny, drinking (possibly chugging) a glass (or three) of wine, flipping through channel after channel hoping some national news program will show something, anything, about the southern floods. Frustrated, I turn it off. I don't know what to do, so I sit there and notice the sun flowing in through my windows and warming up my home, flowers all a'bloom outside, and in a very bizarre way, I'm annoyed. I just want to be home in Tennessee.

Now, I'm a smart girl, and I know the "there's nothing you can really do" argument. I gave what money I could. But the feeling of helplessness is overwhelming to me.

I know that I am now at my saturation point. The enormity of the situation there, with me being here, is starting to affect (effect? why can't i ever get this right?!) me to a point that I need some distance.

Jeremy and I are leaving on Saturday for a much needed, not so-cheap, vacation to the Virgin Islands, and I need to get in the right frame of mind. I need this vacation, but Jeremy REALLY needs it- he hates his job, and this trip has been a bright thing for him to look forward to for months. He needs me to be fully present, drink in hand and a cheesy little smile on my face, not the April that I've been this week. He's been so sweet, but I can't expect him to get it 100%, it's not his hometown.

I hope I can start to leave it in the back of my mind, just for one week. Leave the guilt behind, too.

But it's just so hard...

Nashville, I've never been so proud of you. I've been watching as neighbors help neighbors, strangers help families, volunteer lists fill up in a matter of minutes. You are banding together. It's that spirit that makes me think that you truly are where I belong. And certainly that I need to go ahead and get that dirty south tattoo.

See you in a few weeks, Nashville. I can't wait to give you a big old wet kiss.

on missing the south:

days like today, when the air in colorado is about 15 degrees cooler than I like to spend my April, and I notice that I don't hear the buzz of bees, or smell the bradford pears, these are the moments where I really miss tennessee.

I see photos like these on friends blogs...











...and the longing hits me like a ton of bricks.

I'm not saying Colorado ain't lovely. I mean, those Rockies are something else. And it's hard for me to complain about the lack of allergies, bugs, humidity and such, but still... it's just not the same.

I'm so thankful that Jeremy is from the South and understands this need for front porches, lightening bugs, sticky skin, and mostly, the company of family and friends on a perfect 75 degree evening.

As much as I love it here, and it feels like home 90% of the time, those perfect southern spring days definitly leave me with an aching that I can't really explain.

But y'all down there in Tennessee, you get it. Now, please go clip some dogwood or forsythia branches and put them on your table for me.

I'm gonna go put on some Drive By Truckers now and stop the whining.

to my younger self:

Dear April,

There are so many things I’d like to tell you, but you’re far too consumed with rock shows, biking around town, and trying to juggle school, work, and a boyfriend (or two) to listen for very long. So, I’ll keep this simple.

The next 10 years are going to fly by. Right now you think by the time you reach 30 that you’ll be a big time attorney, married with a couple of kids. Oh my dear, you couldn’t be more far off. Hold onto your hat, because your 20’s are going to be bumpy.

To get this out of the way, first things first-

Just call mom. She’s freaking out and you don’t answer the apartment phone or your cell. You’re too far away, and all she needs to know is that you got home safe from the party you shouldn’t have been at to begin with. A small effort on your part will mean the world to her right now. Remember, you’re the baby. One day you’ll love that family title.

Now, more important things-

Try your hardest to be a woman of integrity. I know you’ve been shown that sometimes it’s easier just to tell a little white lie or two. That’s false. Telling the truth is always the best thing to do. It may not be easy at times, and initially, it might hurt someone. In the end, it’s a hell of a lot more comfortable for you and everyone else.

There are going to be a couple of hard moments where you’re at a crossroads, choosing to sacrifice your own potential for the assumed potential of love. Believe it or not, that dude is going to leave you. Not just once, but a couple of times. But you already know that. He doesn’t call you back when he says he will and that little gut reaction when you met his “friend” Natalie, yeah… take the hint. Respect yourself to know you’re worth more. And that your potential alone far exceeds your future together.

I just ask you to learning to listen to your instincts. Often times you deny that initial reaction for the security of choosing not to be alone. I’m telling you, push through it. It’s ok to be alone. You’ll be braver for it, and through the loneliness you will build so much character. That’s a good thing. And surviving those moments will prepare you for the hard times to come.

You are going to make some poor choices. Some very significant poor choices that will leave you wondering who you are and how you got there. April, listen to me: it is ok. Everyone does. Push through the embarrassment and ask for support when you need it the most. Take time to grieve, breathe, read, recreate yourself, and then MOVE. ON. Do not define yourself by the failures or wallow within them.

Please learn to be a better friend. I’m afraid you learn this lesson far too late. And all the friendships you could have salvaged by not being such a flake, remembering birthdays, showing up on time, showing your appreciation for them and simply remembering that it’s not all about you. Later on, you’ll realize that a true friend is worth more gold.

You are going to travel a lot in the years to come. More often than not, you'll be living a little irresponsibly, but having a hellva good time along the way. Soak it all up. Breathe it in. Look around. Take as many mental snapshots you can until you feel like you just head just can't contain any more. Step away from behind the camera. Those pictures are nice, but living in the moment is even nicer. These are some of the best moments of your life, and the memories you're making- you'll think of time and time again.

And April, most importantly, try not to take life so damn seriously. There are serious parts and not so serious parts. It's all about learning to tell the difference, and approaching those moments with an authentic and loving response.

All my love,

me

p.s. – cowboy boots aren’t so appropriate for weddings or funerals. no. really. they aren't.

nightmares

Jeremy's sweetie pie mom sent us an Easter package yesterday. The box was filled with mostly candy and mom-type easter gift things, but then there was THIS...

You know, cause Jeremy plays soccer and I guess he needed a HORRIFYING singing bunny/soccer ball animal that spins?

I feel like it's our equivalent to this:

(SO worth watching)

What in the world do we do with it? She's coming to visit in a month, so it can't just disappear, can it?

CAN IT?

excitement overload.

My birthday has been stressing me out. Not because I'm turning 30... I'm actually THRILLED about that. It's because I've had a grand idea of a birthday vacation in my head for most of this year.

Well it turns out that my birthday falls on Good Friday. And thus smack dab in the middle of Spring Break and one of the busiest, most expensive travel seasons of the year. Also no fun is that air miles and hotel points don't really work around that week either.

BUT, today, I made a wonderful compromise. I wait a month after my birthday, and we go on my dream eco-vacation. DEAL!

So, May 8th to 13th, Jeremy and I will be staying in an eco-tent (more like some swiss-family-robinson treehouse type shit) on the end of St. John in the Virgin Islands. Hiking, snorkeling, drinking, sleeping, reading, and just a little making out behind tented walls. STOKED.

Trunk Bay:
(actually where renee z. married that gay cowboy dude)

View from the Eco-tents:

Inside:

I've always said I'm at least 35% hippie. This might temporarily bump it up to 51%. I'm ok with that.

random.

I was just chatting with Rebecca about something and had a random memory.

In June of 1999 I had a redneck cousin that was on Montel. The show was called "You dissed me in high school, but look at me now!"

She had just gotten new boobs and had been taking quick-trim or something similar for about a year, and honestly, did look quite a bit better than in high school.

They gave her a $250 clothing allowance to buy something nice to wear. she bought a one-piece zebra print jumpsuit with a matching purse.

the end.

this shit is bananas.

Inspired by Kim's ha'larious video today, I thought I'd post something that for some reason I just can't stop watching. Pretty sure Yewknee posted this last week and since then... everyday play. Why do I think this is so funny?

on blogging and the weekend.

At dinner Friday night Jeremy and I were talking about blogs and the pros/cons and such. I was pushing him to start a blog again (not just a Tumblr), and how much I missed his writing about his life, even if he thought the posts were boring. I guess that's the thing about everyday peoples blogs, they may not have show-stopping exciting posts, but neither do 99% of all people that have blogs.

However- I LOVE reading my friends blogs. I enjoy hearing about their lives, what they're crafting, what's baking, and the movies they see. I find them exciting because I relate, and most times I walk away with great ideas and happy to be in the know about their lives.

Anyhow- I'm going to start doing a weekend wrap-up post every week, not because I have anything overly exciting to share, but because it's important to me to have a log about my life. I realized over the weekend that there are huge gaps in my life that just run together. Like from 2001-2003- yeah- no clue. I know that I was in school, working, and drinking lots of PBR, but that's about it. It'd be really awesome and old school of me to write into a real journal, but that's not going to happen. So... here we go! Whee!

Weekend, January 8 to 10

Friday- After work Jeremy and I drove up the road a bit to pick up his VW after a teeny little telephone pole accident that happened a couple of weeks ago. Looks amazing, like better than it ever did thanks to the new trunk and paint job, so we celebrated with whiskey! Headed over to this new pub in the neighborhood which serves lots of Colorado local food and alcohol and is built into the Stranahan's Distillery (i recommend!) The food was amazing, and the jukebox was unbelievable, but so was the dude that wouldn't go away while i was trying to select my songs. He bugged me so much I actually allowed him to use my final few credits which was the wrong move as he played a mix of cliche hair band music. The worst.

Saturday- Cleaned and headed out to find the right filing cabinet so I can start to complete the office redo that Carolyn planned for me. (I got it!) Found a gaggle of other items that I couldn't say no to, so $78 and a globe later...

Ran a few more errands (that may or may not include swinging by a taco stand) and headed home. Had a neighbor pop in and give us some slices of fresh bread from the Farmers Market down the road. Get this: white chocolate lime mint bread. I know- sounds bad. NO! SO GOOD! So good I hopped down there after getting cash to scoop up a couple of loaves. Awesome for my diet. The farmers market was adorable and it just further enforced my desire to have chickens by seeing they do a backyard chicken keeping class. now, i just need a backyard. and some chickens.

Saturday night JC and I met some friends for downtown for dinner and a movie. Unfortunately, we saw Daybreakers.

Afterwards the group headed up to the Peaks Lounge on the top floor of the Hyatt downtown. I'm not really into hotel bars, but the view over denver was remarkable and the drinks looked pretty, but I'm a granny so I had a decaf coffee. Took the light rail home afterwards.

Sunday- Woke up and double checked that TiVo was recording my very favorite TV program then walked to the store for fresh cream and nutmeg. Made JC french toast with the farmers market crack bread and it turned out really lovely. Jeremy pointed out that I'm a freak about meat and eggs being cooked well, and how sometimes it's a little over the top how much I dissect my food to make sure it's done. True and noted.

That afternoon headed out to Sports Authority and then Colorado Ski and Golf in search of the perfect ski pant. And by perfect I mean they zip and I can breathe in them. After almost having a crying fit in the sports authority that even the largest pants felt tight, Jeremy took me away from there and to the other shop. I guess me exclaiming loudly in the middle of the store 'I MEAN, SERIOUSLY! AM I THE BIGGEST GIRL ON THE SLOPES?! REALLY? CAUSE WHERE DO THOSE GIRLS SHOP?! I NEED TO GO THERE." might have signaled I needed to leave. Finally found some awesome pants and almost died at how much they were, but they fit, and sometimes that's all you need to drop the dough.

Ended the weekend with a slice of Famous Pizza and revisiting some LOST episodes in preparation for the last season. Asleep on the couch by 9:00.