new year(esoultion)

Whenever my sisters or I see a picture of ourselves that we don't like in the presence of our father, he always reminds us "Well- I guess you never know how you look until you get your picture took". Basically saying- "Sorry, fatty, the truth hurts."

And boy oh boy, does it. I just saw a handful of pictures of myself from the past week and yikes. I am seriously horrified. I'm not going to be one of those girls that whines and says "I'm so fat!" because I'm not fat and no one wants to hear that shit anyway.

I will say- I have seriously let myself go. I've looked for various excuses over the past few years. Some of those contradictory excuses include:

"I'm happy!"
"I'm sad!"
"I'm stressed."
"I'm too busy."
"I don't have time to work out." (plenty of time for cheese dip though)
"I think I have a irregular heartbeat. So how would I know if I'm having a heart-attack?"
"I'm boycotting exercise to piss off my health obsessed in-laws"

Ok. That last one was actually a relevant excuse, but still. You get the picture. I can honestly say that I am ashamed of myself, because right now, and even for the past year- I have NO excuses. I am happier than I've been in years, and even though I have a significantly smaller amount of income, I can absolutely afford some gym, yoga and hula. Hell- I even live in the 5th healthiest state in the entire country now, so I can't say "no one will go with me!" And the worst part- I lost this weight before- in 2006 I got down to 134 pounds (from 150) by spinning 3 times a week.

That's why I wanted to publicly declare that enough is enough. I want to make 2009 my best year ever. In a few months I'll turn 29 years old. How amazing would it feel to turn 30 at my goal weight of 135, toned, stress reduced- generally feeling strong and for the first time in a long time, be able to look at myself- full length- in the mirror without wondering "how in the hell did i let this happen?" I think about my weight at least once (more like three times) everyday. What a waste of time in which I could doing something I love.

So- if there is anyone out there that wants to offer a tip, a health magazine suggestion, a low fat reciepe, a favorite workout, a secret move to get rid of these weird flappy arm things, or even better yet- who wants to tackle 2009 with me and Oprah- hit me up. Let's do this.


And then maybe I could do this---