Why it was easy to say 'I do'

Writing our own vows was immensely important to us. We decided fairly early on that we'd exchange the traditional vows and add our own as well. When the time came (and i mean at the very minute before our ceremony) we knew that we didn't want to say them during the civil portion because they were so special and we didn't want to feel rushed. So after we were technically married, we went to another location in City Hall and exchanged vows. I'm SO GLAD we did this. We had our moment together alone and could laugh and cry it out without other people watching. It was extremely intimate and the most special moment of the day.

Because I'm feeling ridiculously lovey right now, and because I haven't spent near enough time on this blog sharing what an amazing human being my new husband is, I wanted to share his wedding vows. Here tis:

"The first time I met you was at the airport in Nashville with you in your signature dress and boots.

Our first date was in New Orleans laughing over a dune buggy parade and a dinner in the French Quarter.

The first time I felt love for you was behind a small cabin in Estes Park by the river, bundled in blankets, and talking about what we wanted in life.

Each of these early events kindled a love and respect for you that grew into the unconditional love that I have for you today.

Now that you are sharing a life with me in Colorado, there are so many things about you that I love and cannot live without: your singing and dancing, the way you talk with your hands, your huge curly hair in the morning, your green eyes, your beautiful neckline, your 100 different types of laughter, your compassion towards animals, your love of music, your passion for floral design and your tireless ability to always help someone, whether they are a friend in need, a family member who needs to lean on you, or even a stranger who is less fortunate in their life.

I know you are the best partner for me in life because you are always pushing me to have better relationships with my family and friends because I need those relationships for my own happiness. You want me to find my proper lot in life. It doesn't matter to you what I do in life just as long as it brings me happiness.

Not only are you the best partner for me but, one day, I know you will be the best mother to our children. You will be playful and patient with them and will teach them all of the things we care about in life. By you being such a great mother I will succeed in being a great father.

I often imagine a future with you filled with someplace to truly call home, a beautiful child or two, a farm dog, some chickens in a coop, a bed and breakfast that we run better than anyone else can, a few goats and an alpaca named Tom Brokaw.

Here are my promises to you:

I promise to always encourage you in any endeavor you take. I'm by your side for the risk and the reward.

I promise to always be completely honest with you, no matter how hard that truth may be to tell.

I promise to always be on the same team as you. On this day you are my priority in life above all else.

I promise to always give you the respect and trust you deserve. You are my equal and I will treat you that way.

I promise to always try to keep a smile on your face. Laughter and joy are so important to us. I want it to continue on into the years of our life together.

May our love be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever.

And may God bless us all of our days."

(Me losing my shit into my bouquet after Jeremy finished his vows to me. )

Cheese alert: I have no idea how I deserve this person in my life, but here he is here, day after day, and I am grateful.

basically snow white.

Thought I'd give my bitch ass neighbors* one more reason to hate me and I started feeding the squirrel family that lives outside our condo. Whenever we have apples or vegetables that are a little too ripe, I cut them up, toss them over the fence and BAM! Hours of entertainment for the kitties.






I normally can't see the squirells feasting from our bedroom window, but this morning this little guy hopped on down and gave me a little show. He ate his entire apple with a smile... I'd like to think it's his way of saying thank you.






I can't wait to move out to the foothills where the wildlife is bigger than a shoebox.

*seriously, i've found denver folks to be beyond nice, especially in our diverse neighborhood, but our immediate neighbors = awful!

cat people.

I'm trying to get into Christmas... we still need a tree, and Denver needs snow (not ONE this year!), and maybe some present wrapping. Is everyone else feeling it this year?

Do I need more cats? Or more cat ornaments? I'm kidding. Although I did buy two of these for our cats for Christmas.

a new week.

I think I'm done complaining for awhile. I did some therapeutic baking and reality tv watching over the weekend and I'm feeling much better now. thanks for listening.

Just a few other quick unrelated thoughts:

1) How awkward is too awkward for jokey Christmas cards? I think Jeremy and I might have crossed the line this year.

2) Didn't Thanksgiving break feel like FOREVER?

3) This week will be the week I watch Star Wars for the first time. Jeremy says I can just skip over all the newer ones, but aren't they important?

4) My friend Dan (who hosted us on Thanksgiving) made a big cloth napkin turkey as the centerpiece. Isn't that awesome? He's not even gay!

5) Today Cori and I have a photo session for our new flower venture. Stay tuned for big fun news about what it is!

6) Denver hasn't had one snow yet this year. There was a dusting on the ground this morning, but that's it! I'm ready for some sledding!!!

7) Anyone else grandma enough to watch 60 Minutes? If not- this segment about the new Spiderman Broadway play almost made me go book some tickets to New York last night. Although, looks like opening night wasn't so hot.

on a lighter note...

ups and downs

ups!

i've now officially lived in denver for two years. not sure where the time went yet also very aware of where the time went. does that make sense? it feels like the time has passed so quickly, yet this has been a busy transitional two years- a mid-country move, a move-in, a move-out, a move in together, new friendships, some travels, a new marriage, good times like these. So yes, busy, but good which i guess is why it feels like yesterday.

also a huge up, a month ago today i married jeremy. last night i was pretty down so he ran all of our errands and even picked up a goat cheese and basil pizza (despite the fact he doesn't eat dairy, and misses pizza so much). Also- surprised me with a US Weekly so I could read all about Kate and William cause good god I love a royal wedding! so, jeremy, thank you for saying "i do".

downs!

Pretty much just one down, but it's a big one. my dad is back in the hospital. I haven't been reporting on him lately because he's been doing so great. He's lost tons of weight just due to his diet change and in return he's been feeling great and his blood count has been at a healthy level. But two weeks ago he started crashing and being grumpy as hell. We all picked up on something not being right, but he's a pretty stubborn old dad and doesn't like to show that he's weak or not feeling great. My mom finally forced him to go to the doctor yesterday. Within an hour they admitted him to the Cardiac floor. I don't know all the details yet, but I know that he is very sick and at this point, his heart is now very weak in addition to his kidneys.

I just don't know how to feel about all of this. I'm sad. I'm guilty. I'm pissed. I'm lonely. I'm selfish.

I think when dad started feeling better, I was able to push the reality of his condition out of my mind. In a selfish way, I was happy to be able to focus on me- our vacations, our wedding, our home. Now, all I can do is think about how Jeremy and I are going to make it to all the holidays in TN this year, cause it might be the last. It's all overwhelming. I don't want to have to prepare myself to lose a parent at age 30. It's not fair.

Yesterday my mom told me that the doctor said that his disease didn't have much to do with his diet or lifestyle for the past 50 years. I was irate. Yes- maybe he didn't contract the disease b/c he's overweight and terribly unhealthy, but I damn well know that had he been a healthier man, fighting this would've been easier and it would've prolonged his life at least by some amount. I also know that kidney disease sure isn't made better by consuming sweet tea and cokes non-stop for FIFTY YEARS. Dad knew this. That damn doctor knew this. He just didn't want to make dad feel bad.

I don't know why it all made me so angry. Maybe I just need something to be mad at, and yesterday, that was dad. Mad that he didn't love us more to exercise, stop with the fried foods, take a vitamin, get off the couch, drink some water. I feel guilty for saying all these things. I'm aware that this isn't rational- I know it's not about loving us- he loves the hell out of all of us. But I hurt because I want him here with us so badly for as long as possible. And I'm hurt because it isn't going to happen. And I'm hurt that his choices have contributed to my pain, to our pain, to his pain.

I sound like a bitch. But man... this shit is complex and hard to explain.

Maybe I just need to be mad at Captain D's.

Yesss-- that's it.

So let me revise this blog:

ups!

(same as above)

downs!

DAMN YOU CAPTAIN D'S with your delicious battered and fried fish and hushpuppies that my sweet father loves so much! Grrrrrrr!

the puuurrrfect way to end a week.

the hipster in me screams

Are these really the candidates for Favorite Male Artist in the Peoples Choice Awards?

Is this why i feel disconnected to America?

I'm a snob.

boom!

I love that Jeremy photobombs.

The chick taking the photo was sooooo not into Jeremy jumping into this photo OR the fake moustaches we drew on ourselves.

Jonathan and Brett being silly

In this photo: Jonathan and Brett

Added 2 hours ago

shameful.

So Jeremy tells me that Con Air was apparently a huge movie when it came out in theaters. Yeah... I don't remember it. It could be that I blocked it out considering the SHAMEFUL SOUTHERN ACCENT that comes out of Nick Cage's mouth for two painful hours.

I don't know if it's because I'm from Tennessee and I take my accent very seriously, or if it was just irritating that they didn't cast a southern actor for the role... but damn, it really bothered me!

I tried to find the opening scene where you can really hear the absurdity that is his fake accent, but all I could really find worth sharing was this scene... this one was worth staying up past 10:30 for:

the internet is funny.

So yeah... the internet. how weird is it?!

so on friday when our little video was posted on design*sponge, i was fairly freaked out. it wasn't so much about a lot of people seeing it, but the fear of strangers saying mean things about us.

ridiculous, right? or not really? i mean, who wants people they don't know talking shit about them? no one! but at the same time, i'm not so sure why i assumed there would be haters. after all, it wasn't a video of us tazering epileptic kittens. it was a video of love! the happiest day ever!

maybe my fear was just a natural feeling of protection. i hold my relationship with Jeremy so dear, that sometimes I feel too protective over it. regardless, all of a sudden we were out there in the weird internet world, in our most personal and venerable moment for the world to view and comment on. and get this- the internet stranger world was NICE! Really super nice!

"To April & Jeremy: Thank you for sharing this with everyone, and thanks to D*S for bringing it to me. As a woman who has had her fill of big fancy weddings, I know that I want something smaller and more intimate. My friends disagree that anything that involves City Hall could be beautiful or romantic. Thank you for restoring my faith that every person knows what is right for themselves, and that City Hall can be beautiful when the two people involved really want to get married."

(that comment was the one that made it all worth it, by the way)

And then something I didn't expect happened... people started sharing it on their blogs... and then I REALLY freaked out. I mean I had some control knowing that design*sponge would not publish mean comments, but ohhhh shit- now the internet had free reign! so there i was on friday night, outside of a soup and salad restaurant in the suburbs of Denver, having trouble breathing and asking Jeremy why the hell we agreed to post it. Thankfully, sweet Jeremy just took me into the restaurant and calmed me down with a build your own sundae station. Yesssss.

But you know what? Not one of those 160 other blogs that shared it had one negative thing to say. Not one! Perhaps I need to give the internet more credit.


And then there's this: Kazakhstan! Which is my favorite part of it all.

money.

I just wasn't raised to be money-minded. Love the parents, but man saving and managing money just wasn't on the top of their priority list. It probably didn't help that they were trying to raise 5 girls on middle-class income in a fairly pricey community. So you know, no fault to them, but I guess I'm just trying to say that I didn't know how to handle a checkbook till like... now. And I sure as hell didn't know what "good credit" meant until I had bad credit.

I've definitely learned my hard lessons with money and so has Jeremy. My credit is still recovering and thankfully Jeremy has a damn near perfect score. But still, here we are in our early 30's and still feeling mildly out of control when it comes to our finances. Things are always paid. And I'm not addicted to designer handbags. But we really need to learn some hard rules about paying off debt and saving money.

So we're caving in. To the obnoxious entity that is Dave Ramsey. That's right, 14 weeks to financial peace, baby! One of our couple friends have been on his program for a little over 9 months, and to date they have paid off over $10,000 on just a $50K combined income. Yes- I don't know how it's possible either (especially in Denver), besides they live within their means and they don't stray from their budget.

I'll have to report back after tonights first class, but I'm really trying to stay positive that the class will be fun and really make a difference. Thankfully, my best Denver pal will be with us to keep us laughing.

my darling geek husband

... is co-writing a new website for the TV Series "The Walking Dead".

http://walkingdeadtheatre.com/

Jeremy's post are by the name "Carl".

we said vows.

we said vows. from Jeremy on Vimeo.

We were married at the historic San Francisco City Hall on Monday morning. It was the easiest and yet most romantic day ever.

Eloping gets a bad rap, but for us, we wouldn't change a thing.

Thanks to our friend, Britt Simmons, for being an awesome witness and even more awesome videographer. (http://www.brittsimmons.com)

busy.

i'm thinking way too much right now about all of these things.

looking forward to a time where all of this crosses my mind as just good memories.