Dear you,

Hi kid. You don’t know me yet, but I made a significant decision for us today, one I’ve been toiling about for a couple of weeks. I decided not to pursue a significant career opportunity.

Some of our friends and family won’t understand why I’m bypassing such a fantastic opportunity, but I don’t really care about out that. This is about us. It’s about knowing that when you decide to make an appearance in my life, I can’t imagine a more significant role for myself than being the best mother I can be to you. For me, that doesn’t include dropping you off at 7 am, and picking you up at 5. It doesn’t involve worrying about making it to your preschool program because I’ll be in Boston presenting at a conference. It doesn’t mean stressing out your dad with the uneven care you’ll receive while I travel 2 months out of the year. It means being committed to giving you the best I can. And not taking this job allows me to offer that to you.

I’ll admit there were a few perks that are painful to walk away from. Topping that list- this job would’ve left us with a considerable amount more dough. I hope you really love Kraft mac and cheese, cause baby boo, we can’t afford the fancy Velveeta shit. But hell… what would we do with that dough?! (god all the things we could do with that dough) But no no- really it’s not about that. And I’ll keep telling myself that.

Quite the opposite. It’s about time together and endless amounts of stress free love. It means I won’t be feeding you while blackberrying, and you won’t have a work distracted mom sporadically reading to you in between answering emails. I’m not going to be perfect. Nor do I expect to be a stay-at-home mom. I love you and all, but yeah- no deal. Not only I am just not one of those amazing women or men that can handle stay at home parenting, but I can't leave the fulfillment I receive through my job. What example would I be if I gave up something I love so much?

And the most important (and fun!) part of me choosing to stay with my Foundation- I have a boss and team of wonderful women that are going to welcome you into my life with love and joy and fun gifts too! They’re going to give me helpful advice when you have a low fever for days, and will pick up the phone and listen to me cry when I’m exhausted. They’ll be the ones to tell me to only work what I can, and to be a mom before an employee. They’ll reinforce that work/life balance is more that a catchy corporate phrase. That it’s about preparing you for the wild world before you, and they’ll help me give you the development skills and love that you’ll need to face it.

And that’s why I’m walking away from that job. It might sound nuts, since you’re nowhere to be seen yet, and I don’t even know when or where you’re coming from (Guatemala?), but to me, it makes all the sense in the world.

My lesson here to you is that sometimes there are things more important than money or advancement. Each human’s vision of their future and life goals are different, and that’s what makes the world so colorful. We have to remember that there are different paths for everyone, and how wonderful that is. For me, it’s about experiencing life at the fullest, eating, drinking, loving, praying,(this sounds like a book! oh wait…), traveling, caring for one another and collecting stories of good times. My vision clearly includes you. And it’s the experience that I’m choosing today.

And when you pester me about wanting the new version of a Nintendo DS, I’ll remind you that “money doesn’t grow on trees” and to suck it up. One day you’ll appreciate the mom vs. money trade-off, and you know… I will too.

Love,
momma